Brad and Trevor envisioned a wedding of relaxed elegance that would be a celebration of equality and the union of two families. Their story and some advice:
“We met 14 years ago when we were briefly at the same college. I left after one semester. We never started dating because whenever it was convenient for one of us, it wasn’t for the other. Either Brad was traveling the country for work, or I was living in Texas, but we always hung out and kept in touch.
My father helped me make a ring box out of the remains of a tree my parents had planted 30 years ago and was lost in Hurricane Sandy. I spent weeks making it and used a varnish my grandfather had created at his job and lined the box with one of his handkerchiefs. I invited some friends to Brad’s apartment one night for a dinner party. Everyone was aware of what was going to happen. One friend brought his guitar and on my cue began playing Brad’s favorite song “Just One Person.” We all sang and at the end of the song I was holding the open box to Brad – who had already been planning to propose to me!
I honestly remember so little , but my favorite part of the day was clearing out the bridal… uh… groom suite of everyone and having the attendant get our pastor, who was at the wedding as a guest only. Our officiant was lost, the ceremony was scheduled to start and she was able to jump in, in a pinch. Probably because it was the one time that day when I, as a project manager, was able to manage anything! But also because we were able to have the person preside over our wedding that we really wanted.”
I wouldn’t say it feels any different, since we were living together for a while. But it is thrilling that we are in a fully, legally recognized marriage and that if something happens to one of us, the other won’t lose everything we built together.”
“My favorite part was the reception. Seeing old and new family alike, coming together in a celebration that would have been completely unheard of years ago. It was joyous and perfectly appropriate.
I don’t know what it is exactly, but I feel differently after the wedding. It’s not a giant change, more of a shift. It feels like this is solidified. That all of our friends and family have now recognized our commitment. And it makes me feel that much closer to Trevor, knowing that both of our families shared this day together.”